Is This It!!
Happiness is thought of as the good life, freedom from
suffering, flourishing, well-being, joy, prosperity, and pleasure. Through
happiness we are content. However, contrary
to popular belief happiness and contentment are not default human emotions;
they are not a natural state for the human condition. Indeed, these are human emotions that are coveted, sought, earned, and may be unexpected –
and they are also often elusive.
Now, you may ask, why would I wish to reflect so gloomily?
Bear with me – I have a purpose.
Firstly, I have had occasion of late to observe my adult sons
encounter a particular moment in life, a moment that I have also experienced
more than once. I will coin this as a state of mind that says;
“Is This It!”
Have you been there reader? You know,
when things aren't really “wrong”, but the day to day grind becomes an
overwhelming monotony. You get up, sort the kids out, go to work, pick the kids
up, cook, clean, get the kids to bed, sit down exhausted, and know that
tomorrow you will do it all again. You will have your own variation of that
monotony. And you may have had that experience of sitting there, knowing you
ought to be happy and content, but thinking to yourself with just a hint of
despair – Is This It? Is this what life is going to be like from now on.... It
is that moment when you cannot project into a more hopeful fulfilling future.
I suspect you all have been there. I suspect you have also all
found your own ways around the grinding monotony, planning holidays, hobbies,
projects, new ventures and ambitions. You may have also told yourself to be
grateful – as there are so many in the world worse off. For example, whilst I note my adult sons achieving so much in
their lives, I also note them quietly reflecting in their own personal ways;
Is This It?
I understand how they are
feeling – I have been there many times before now.
Secondly, I was intrigued recently to listen to an eminent Psychologist
who turned a light on for me that illuminated that moment of:
“Is This It”
She Illuminated it in a way
that I had not previously considered. She made it clear that our forefathers had
a much more realistic view of their lives. They knew, understood to their core,
that life was generally and naturally tough, and that happiness would be only an occasional
experience. Her view was that today in our wealthy modern (Western) world we
have developed and unrealistic expectation of our potential and prospective
happiness and contentment; an expectation that leaves us disappointed, deflated
and reflective when we cannot achieve it. This is the
“Is This It”
moment, when
you cannot identify that anything is specifically wrong, and yet find yourself
inexplicably discontented, depressed and disheartened.
The Darwinian perspective sees our lives constructed
on conflict and chaos, natural selection and survival of the fittest. That
bio-scientific perspective points to an existence that is far from one defined
by happiness and contentment. This view
sees us as individuals in a constant state conflict – in constant
disequilibrium.
Alternatively, a more humanistic and spiritual approach sees
humans state of internal conflict balanced by striving for a state of internal
peace and fulfillment. There are several
PhD Thesis in this philosophical and theological discourse (I digress) – I shall
summarise....
And my point is!!!! Understanding and challenging the “Is
This It” moments in your life help you to overcome them, to traverse them. Because “Life” is extraordinarily
unpredictable, and your monotonies will never endure for long. Your new life experiences
are certain – and may be good or bad. But rest assured they are waiting for you
– just around that next corner.
Tom, Sam, Rob - Is This It my boys?
NAH.........
There is so much more to come...
“Would you tell me
please
which way I ought to go from here?” said Alice
“That depends a good
deal
on where you want to get to,”
said the Cat.
“I dont much care
where ….”
said Alice.
“Then it doesn't matter
which
way you go,” said the Cat.
From Alice's Adventures
in Wonderland.
(With Thanks to Shez...)
