IF - You will be a Man my Son

IF  

IF - I had a choice - I would change nothing... 

31 years ago my life was to change forever. I was transformed from a young man living with his girlfriend, living the dream, drinking, partying, working. I was transformed by the arrival of my 1st son Thomas. Never again was I to be at the centre of my universe. I stood there on a hot sunny morning in July 1983 and stared in wonder at the tiny bundle of life that I had in part made. Thomas stared back at me. It was a beginning.

31 years later I have 3 adult sons, Tom, Sam and Robert. They tower over me - big strong men, and each in their own diverse way their own man. I am immensely proud of them, and count myself lucky that as they have become adults they are now not only my sons - but also my friends.

Today my youngest son Robert left home to live with his wonderful girlfriend. In many ways he had left already, it was only circumstance that had him living in his parents home these last few years. 

But today I have realised that my sons have have finally all flown the nest. They are living their own lives - and that is quite as it should be. Today Jan and face the next stage of our long  journey together - living together as we did when we met in 1980 - just the 2 of us. But now we are older, and grandparents to the adorable Dafydd and Izaak. 

Today - I wish my sons well - they transformed me. They inspired me...

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

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In Memory of my Father
WW2 RAF Squadron Leader - an Inspiration

And Unintentional Comedian 

Thomas Hillary Barton